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Comments:
She broke up with me actually, but there's still feelings I have for her. And I don't want to be just friends...but I don't want to just get back together. I want to see if something is still there.
She was a stripper/dancer and I met her while she was working. I only bought her 1 drink and 1 lap dance. My friend “jokingly” said, “hey…you should get her number” when she was hanging out around us. She obviously heard it and looked at me and gave me a dirty smirk. Before we leave the club…she approaches me and gives me her number. Who am I to reject that…right? So…I got her number.
You're being triggered. There's plenty of stuff online that you can read about how to handle that. A good principle is to calm the body to calm the mind.
Usually, someone has a few ducks in a row and has maintained a level of independence for some years is probably looking for the same in someone else. Autonomous identity and independence are important aspects. Someone who has been on their own for a while is probably looking for someone who has managed to hold their own for a few years too. However, too much of that makes a person seem aloof. I think I would rather ( if given a choice between the two) would rather a clingy person. Clingy people want you to know how much they like you. Aloof people make it seem like they can do better and are not all that interested. Is there a balance between the two and can two people find that balance and get it right? I sure as hell haven't. I have seen co-dependent relationships and for all intense and purposes, they seem euphoric with their arrangement, other people in that circumstance, ( I.E.) one person is clingier than the other, suffer. One person isn't getting their needs met, and the other feels smothered and hemmed in.
How long are both of you out of your past LTR's? Also, for each of you, who was dumper/dumpee in those LTR's?
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i wouldnt go for this. he says hes going to go back???? a stripper getting him off is more important than you - his wife of 9 years? i feel for you, if i were in that postion, id be devastated too. if he wanted to 'avoid this big fight' he shouldnt have cheated on you and lied.
Brief.. hmm not possibl.
well, it has happened with a few people that i know. in my religion, it is said that you can change your fate if you sincerely pray to GOD.
But now you are asking why she would want to keep asking bout your happiness?
Keep your ears wide open and your mouth closed, you'll find out more.
If a woman did not physically attract me, yet captivated me with her intelligence and wonderful personality, I would want to **** her brains out, as a consequence. If she hated sex, then that would be a huge frustration, and frankly I would lose interest in persuing a relationship, and instead cherish the friendship, but look for someone who was more "average".
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IMO and please don't take this wrong I think most of your frustration is more the trust level in the whole A thing isn't quite back yet. Give it time, but if someone is staring at him doesn't mean he'll notice and drop everything he's workin on regaining.